I 'SHOE' YOU

It might have well become the new mascot of rebellion  and it has certainly increased unemployment concerns for AK-47's around the world.Poor guys no matter  how deadly they might be, they  have never been as successful as our hero.And guess what, it  also helped save my ass.After screwing up every campus interview i appeared for,it was pretty obvious to me that i was on my way of joining  millions of other gooks holding the banner"we've fucked ourselves.now lets blame it on the govt.-unemployed".But then the miracle happened.In case you have begun to feel i have smoked grass ,and have been  talking shit all this while,then dumbos i am talking about the most revolutionary weapons of all times-"the shoe".Now,shoe throwing started in Iraq and soon became a means of revolt, an open declaration of war against the system.But as it turned out,the shoe helped the victims more than the attackers.Be it George Bush or Omar Abdullah,    they all jumped from 4th page, bottom row, last column of the newspapers,straight to the front page with extra large photographs.In short their TRP increased exponentially.So much so, that Farooq Abdullah declared in public that he was proud his son was shoed, for he then joined the ranks of Bush & Zardari.I don't know why Mr. Abdullah was proud of his son being compared with Asif Ali Zardari.No, i am no cynic Indian allergic to the Pakistanis.It's just that i haven't forgotten Zardari's Mr. 10% stature yet. Anyhow,i decided to en cash this opportunity and became a contract shoer.Which in simple words means,i would shoe  public figures, who have become so obsolete that even their neighbours donot recognise them anymore,in public to redeem their lost fame.The idea was an instant hit.
       And all those politicians who wanted their not so fuckworthy faces to be up in the newspapers started dialing my number.And this is how it went.

Me :                    Hello. 

Mayawati's Secretary :    This is Mayawati's secretary calling.We are interested in   the       services  you are providing.We want you to shoe behenji in a public meeting. 

me :                    But why does she need to be shoed?
Mayawati's Secretary :  Behenji has done a lot of bhaigiri these days and yet her dreams of being a national figure remains unfulfilled.
                        Yesterday while she was jogging a man came to her and asked" bhaisab time kya hua?"That day she realized,forget face people didn't even recognize her gender.The Taj corridor case & erection of her statues all over U.P hasn't helped much.Now she needs some thing to give her world wide web.... err sorry fame.
   
Me :                     ok sir,your job will done.

The next call was from India's original villian /comedian/crook  neta Lalooji's office.

Laloo Yadav's P.A.:    Sirji we have heard you make people famous.Please make our Lalooji famous too.
Me :                               But Lalooji is already very famous. 

Laloo Yadav's P.A.:    No sirji.That was past.Present is very bad.Lalooji is in desperate need to be in people's eye.Why else do you think he was jumping like Jeetandra(minus the white boots) in the Parliament.He doesn't obviously want this pittance of a salary.He is a talented guy. He can make millions anyway.He has already shown his talent in chara ghotala scam & many others.What he wanted was attention.Mamata didi took railways from him & Nitish Kumar took Bihar from Rabriji.Since then, Lalooji has become an "aam admi".So "aam" that even the aam wallah doesn't give him footage.The only thing that is keeping him busy these days is Rabriji's night classes.He is taking her to night classes so that if she accidentally gets a ministry next time ,she  would at least be able to read her oath on her own.But sirji, if you don't help us, Lalooji's political career will go down the gutter.
                      
                       I agreed .And then i got another call.
           


Advani's P.A.:          Sir this is Advaniji's P.A.
Me :                           Advani who?
Advani's P.A.:         Former leader of BJP.
me :                           I thought that was Atalji who was the leader.
Advani's P.A.:        Sir remember "majboot neta nirnayak sarkaar".Atalji's sidekick.
                                 Please shoe him too.
Me :                        Yes, yes now i remember.But he hasn't done anything lately.What will i say?What   for i shoed him?


Advani's P.A.:        For the same reason, sir.For not doing anything.


I said yes to him.In fact i said yes to all of them.Whatever be their agenda our politicians are actually worthy of being shoed.But this made one thing clear. Politicians are that breed of dogs who can digest anything from guilt to shame to keep themselves alive.From Kashmir to Kalahandi they haven't left a single opportunity to politicize matters for their own interests at the bequest of innocent people(Rahul,Omar......listening??)