One bright morning I told myself, if I had to lose my virginity for free I had to hook up with a girl. Hence I mustered all my courage and I proposed her. And holy mother of god she said yes. That was the happiest day of my life .But my happiness did a somersault and jumped into Indian Ocean to drown when she suggested we go on our first date to CCD. Now, analysts have suggested that the real cause behind recession was places like Barista and CCD and evil women who forcefully dragged men to eat at those places causing huge budget deficit. I had heard scary bedtime stories from my granny about people who went to CCD and were unable to pay their bills. They were then made to wash utensils. I shuddered at the reality of those stories. We went on our first date.
She started talking “look Bangalore is like ma second home. I go there every month. Bangalore is classy. Not like Bhubaneswar –dirty. Dirty Dirty Dirty.ma aunty went to like Italy and bought me a pair of like really cool stilettos.’…………...….there was this guy in 7th grade who like had a crush on me. He was like totally cool. He proposed me but then I said what the hell……………”.
She talked about things that that didn’t concern me, that didn’t concern her,that didn’t concern any person living or dead for that matters. While she was talking nonsense, I looked at the bill that had arrived. The bill amount was approximately equal to my annual pocket money. I had to pay the bill with the money I had kept for buying new undies .My older ones had big holes in them that left my genitals exposed. The realization of the fact that I had to compromise on my underwear for a girl who was practically dumb didn’t help much. But that wasn’t a surprise after all. Researchers have found out that 97% of women have an IQ quotient that would put the entire humanity to shame.
The next few months were pure torture. My transportation bills were more than sabita bhabi’s onion bills. My condition was even worse than Lehman brothers and Merlyn lynch put together.I was so broke that I had to take lift from autowallahs.i hadn’t seen my college since ages.Most of my classmates refused to believe I was a student of that college.When results got out I found out I had managed a feat.Both my cgpa and no of backs I had were being represented by the same number-4.
But then one day I saw her roaming around with another guy.I confronted her.She replied”look you are a good guy.But you are dumb.half the stuff you said I never understood.plus you look like brian Murphy on a diet.and that bhanu ,he has a pulsar 180.i think we should break up”
That was it.3 months of exploration of virtually every CCD that existed in Bhubaneswar,4 BACKS,3000 bucks of investment with no real return,no kiss,no grope,no………ah .well leave it ………had ended this way…………………………...in my freedom.it felt like 15th august.pulsar 180 had saved my life.i prayed for that bhanu guy and left .
Moral :girls are nuts.The phenomenon is universal.So,if you do find a girl hot enough to compensate for the losses and if you have enough money left after paying for vodka, back paper registrations, cheat paper Xeroxes ,do fall in love.
In an unrelated news pulsar 180 is a good bike.