About Me

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bhubaneswar, orissa, India
First of all i would like to clarify that this blog has nothing to to do with Mango Dolly.So, people looking for pictures of South Indian porn stars will be highly dissapointed.I could say that this blog aims at highlighting the hypocrisy in today's society.But,fuck it.The truth is since internet is cheap and they don't sue for writing crap,i have started this blog to bitch about politicians,celebs,women,famous people, not so famous people,life,people,ex-crushes ,etc.In short everybody and everything.So, start reading.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

AYODHYA LAND DISPUTE RESOLVED


In an unprecedented and rather surprising move both the parties involved in the Ayodhya land dispute case have agreed for reconciliation. Respecting Allahabad high court’s  plea for an amicable solution of the issue, representatives of both the groups had a meeting in which it was decided that the controversial piece of land will be used for the construction of an All India Institute of Terrorism. Members of RSS, VHP, Bajrang Dal ,Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad (ABVP)and Indian Mujahidin were major supporters of this move. One of the members of the Hindu wing, who looked more saffron than brown, thanks to his saffron dhoti, saffron tilak, saffron kurta, went to say “we are very happy over this development. After all this is the only common ground we could find.”
The Indian youth was actually going gung ho over this decision. And why not, terrorism after all is the single largest employment provider in the world today. So, all these illiterate poor guys who had nothing much to do, save remain hungry and unemployed will now be taken in to knock off some innocent looking people. One of the aspirants for the AIIT (All India Institute of Terrorism) told the media.”I was earlier trying for the police force. But then I realized that AIIT is a much better option. Here you get much better weapons than the police without the  botheration of a license. And if you perform well you have good chances of going to ‘phoren’, and work in luxury building s like WTC or the Taj hotel. They also fuckin pay better.”
  The only person who was not happy over this development was Mr. SAS Geelani who bluntly remarked-” Why is there no such institute in Kashmir. Kashmir valley has been under terrorism and insurgency for 6 decades yet   Ayodhya gets to be the place where this institute will come up. That is why I prefer Pakistan. Millions of Kashmiris are unemployed today. Had Kashmir been in Pakistan, they would have all joined ISI and dispatched to Afghanistan to bomb Karzai’s Govt. off and kill Indian contractors.”Omar Abdullah was also dissatisfied with the AIIT not being in Kashmir and as usual, blamed Indian Army for that.
But this plan had its own set of hiccups, the biggest of them being Suresh Kalmadi. Apparently Mr. Kalmadi had proposed Ayodhya to be the venue for the Olympics, if he won the bid to host  the 2016 Olympics. Skeptics were terrified that if Kalmadi won the bid (which he was actually good at) and started building stadia then  many more buildings would collapse after Babri ,and this time not many people will be needed to bring the structures down. So, the stakeholders of did a Putin, and banned Kalmadi from interfering in  Ayodhya  issue on legal grounds.(those interested in knowing how this was done may contact Vladimir Putin who kicked  Mikhail Kashyanov out of elections on legal grounds so that his ally Dmitri Medvedev could easily become the President of Russia.)
L.K. Advani echoed the sentiments of the country and said that this was a welcome step and further clarified that it had nothing to do with Uma Bharti’s return to BJP. He said that it would help us strengthen our relationship with our neighbours,China and Pakistan who would then become the two largest investors in this area.
RSS chief Mohan Rao Bhagwat was candid in his approach.He  said “earlier we were highly dissatisfied with Mr. Chidambaram’s  ‘Saffron Terror’ comments.We have been involved every major effort from Babri to Godhra  yet this man gets to do the nomenclature. But  this institute is a welcome move. Now we can work officially with lesser legal hiccups.”
(Ayodhya may not have shown us Ram but it has definitely given us  lot many Ravans.Lets see how the 30th September verdict changes Ayodhya and India as a whole.)

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Friday, 3 September 2010

YEAR'S GREATEST DEBATE



scene 1:The clock shows 9.Newshour gets displayed on T.V. screens.Arnab Goswami 's face appears.(30 million people across the country say"oh God! not again!" and switch off their tv sets.)

Arnab Goswami: Tonight at Newshour we are going to debate the common wealth games scam and joining us are our panel of ...........uhmmmm .well! ...esteemed guests, Laloo Prasad Yadav,Mulayam Singh Yadav,Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwary,Shashi Tharoor and Suresh Kalmadi,the chairman of IOC & CWG organising commitee.let me start with you Kalmadiji. You are being held responsible for the cwg fiasco.What is your defense?What is your say on this issue.]

Suresh Kalmadi:(What will i say after digesting millions of bucks?let me do what every politician does on being cornerd)
                 I think there is Pakistan's hands in it.
                 
Arnab Goswami:  Sir,how can you blame them?   

Suresh Kalmadi: If they can blame us for anything and everything happening in their country from floods to match fixing to Zardari's common cold,why can't i?

Arnab Goswami:  Let me move over to Mulayamji.What is your take on this whole issue?

Mulayam Singh Yadav:    angrezi nahi chalegi.......angrezi hatao desh bachaao...........

Arnab Goswami: Sir ,but the topic is CWG not english education

Mulayam Singh Yadav:    angrezi nahi chalegi.......

Arnab Goswami: Sir, but...................

Mulayam Singh Yadav: ANGREZZZZZZZI    NAHIN CHHHAALLLEGIIIIIIIIII BOLL DIYE NAAAAAA......TO BOL DIYE.............
           
somewhere amidst the noises           
Manish Tiwary :Arnab i believe........(voice trailing off as nobody actually cares as to what he believes)

Arnab Goswami:    Sir,let me rebut you.............   

Laloo Prasad Yadav :Arre budbak.Hum kahe dete hain no slang,what is this  re'BUTT',re'BUTT'?  Tohaar ghar mein maa bahinn  naahi hai kya??
                    And what CWG you are talking about.......we want more salary otherwise consequences will be severe.

Arnab Goswami:(Literally crying out of frustration) For the last time the topic is CWG. now listen to me.........

Laloo Prasad Yadav :What listen to you......till today    i haven't listened to Rabri,Bihar's public,Railway workers or even Soniaji.I should have gone to ndtv's left,right& centre.Atleast Nidhi Razdan is hot.

Arnab Goswami: Tharoor sir can we have your opinion on this issue.   

Shashi Tharoor : CWG today has become an arduous task,with rivulets flowing out from the squalor of filth.The onus lies on those whose tones are still stentorian .The denouement of this saga we still await.

Arnab Goswami:?????

Laloo Prasad Yadav :??????

Mulayam Singh Yadav:??????

Manish Tiwary :???????

after exactly 90 seconds of confusion


Manish Tiwary :What did he  just say...........italian?

Laloo Prasad Yadav :How do i know?......Go ask your soniaji

Shashi Tharoor :I believe the time for penitence has passed long before.Things have got obfuscated & need to be emancipated from past's emasculation.The need of the hour is to avaler from cynicism and awaken ourselves to the tantamount task of creating an elixir for saving the games from a bad omen.

(17 different people bang their heads on their tables on hearing this.
  17 being the total no of people who actually dared to watch Arnab Goswami's show)
 
  Meanwhile with an "i give a fuck to whatever is happening over here " look Lalooji starts talking
  
  Laloo Prasad Yadav :How do we get rid of this Tharoor.Removing him from the ministry hasn't helped much.
 
 Manish Tiwary :I have an idea.Ban Twitter.He will die from heart attack .
  
  Laloo Prasad Yadav :By the way,Mulayamji why are you against angrezi.It is a means of development & progress.
 
 Mulayam Singh Yadav: Aree humka nahi naa aati hai angrezi.Angrezi chalegi to hum kyaa ghantaa chal payungaa.Beda garat hui jaayegaa sasuraa.
 
 Arnab Goswami:    Where the hell is Suresh Kalmadi?
 
TIMES NOW Crew Member : He ran away during the break.We tried to stop him,but then we were told that Suresh Kalmadi was actually Usain Bolt in make-up.Apparently Kalmadi had appointed him to impersonate him and answer people's questions and run away in sticky situations.That might probably be the reason why  Usain Bolt is not attending Delhi CWG.

 Arnab Goswami: Due to inexplicable circumstances  we are wrapping up for today.Gentleman thanks for joining.

 After the show a sad man  is found talking to himself
 Manish Tiwary :No one listens to me,not Soniaji not Pranabji ,Not Chidambaramji & not even that Deepak Courasia's english prototype.I am the most helpless guy in the congress afer Manmohan Singh. God save us both & if possible, the games.