About Me

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bhubaneswar, orissa, India
First of all i would like to clarify that this blog has nothing to to do with Mango Dolly.So, people looking for pictures of South Indian porn stars will be highly dissapointed.I could say that this blog aims at highlighting the hypocrisy in today's society.But,fuck it.The truth is since internet is cheap and they don't sue for writing crap,i have started this blog to bitch about politicians,celebs,women,famous people, not so famous people,life,people,ex-crushes ,etc.In short everybody and everything.So, start reading.

Tuesday 15 February 2011

Love ,Backs aur Dhokhaa

I was in love. True love. Much like the previous 143 times. My college wasn’t exactly the hangout option for Gucci clad, 24 36 24 flaunting, fake accent shitting hotties. So, I had to spend  my entire  first year fantasizing about  women with hot gate pics on orkut(most of whom I later came to know were fake accounts).But much  like Yuvraj Singh’s form, Salman Khan’s list of girlfriends ,IMF’s policies and Jammu and Kashmir ‘s political status ,which have no father and mother to account for, and keep changing, my luck changed too. And thankfully, this time for the better, or so I thought. I saw her. Comp. Sc ,1st year. She wasn’t a looker exactly. But the victims of Ethiopian famine don’t go expecting cheese hamburgers, do they?


One bright morning I told myself, if I had to lose my virginity for free I had to hook up with a girl. Hence I mustered all my courage and I proposed her. And holy mother of god she said yes. That was the happiest day of my life .But my happiness did a somersault and jumped into Indian Ocean to drown when she suggested we go on our first date to CCD. Now, analysts have suggested that the real cause behind recession was places like Barista and CCD and evil women who forcefully dragged men to eat at those places causing huge budget deficit. I had heard scary bedtime stories from my granny about people who went to CCD and were unable to pay their bills. They were then made to wash utensils. I shuddered at the reality of those stories. We went on our first date.

She started talking  “look Bangalore is like ma second home. I go there every month. Bangalore is classy. Not like Bhubaneswar –dirty. Dirty Dirty Dirty.ma aunty went to like Italy and bought me a pair of like really cool stilettos.’…………...….there was this guy in 7th grade who like had a crush on me. He was like totally cool. He proposed me but then I said what the hell……………”.
 
She talked about things that that didn’t concern me, that didn’t concern her,that didn’t concern any person living or dead for that matters. While she was talking nonsense, I looked at the bill that had arrived. The bill amount was approximately equal to my annual pocket money. I had to pay the bill with the money I had kept for buying new undies .My older ones had big holes in them that left my genitals exposed. The realization of the fact that I had to compromise on my underwear   for a girl who was practically dumb didn’t help much. But that wasn’t a surprise after all. Researchers have found out that 97% of women have an IQ quotient that would put the entire humanity to shame.


The next  few months were pure torture. My transportation bills were more than sabita bhabi’s onion bills. My condition  was even worse than Lehman brothers and  Merlyn lynch put together.I was so broke that I had to take lift from autowallahs.i hadn’t seen my college  since ages.Most of my classmates refused to believe I was a student of that college.When results got out I found out I had managed a feat.Both my cgpa and no of backs I had were being represented by the same number-4.
But then one day I saw her roaming around with another guy.I confronted her.She replied”look you are a good guy.But you are dumb.half the stuff you said I never understood.plus you look like brian Murphy on a diet.and that bhanu ,he has  a pulsar 180.i think we should break up”
That was it.3 months of exploration of virtually every CCD that existed in Bhubaneswar,4 BACKS,3000 bucks of investment with no real return,no kiss,no grope,no………ah  .well leave it ………had ended this way…………………………...in my freedom.it felt like 15th august.pulsar 180 had saved my life.i prayed for that bhanu guy  and left .

Moral :girls are nuts.The phenomenon is universal.So,if you do  find a girl hot enough to compensate for the losses and if you have enough money left  after paying for vodka, back paper registrations, cheat paper Xeroxes ,do fall in love.
In an unrelated news pulsar 180 is a good bike.

7 comments:

  1. Super Hot ... I never had any relationship but seriously scared of CCD :D

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  2. the ccd thing is fantastic ...even girls ko yehi lagta hai ki ham paise unke baap se le rakhe hain..my advice to all boys is that enjoy ur lyf ,get rid of the word (love) . just believe paata sataa hata....so that in the end means when u break up u would be very happy..
    @pratik u r awesome ur last 2 lines are shit hot man...u rock....

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  3. Hah. Witty and lovely.!
    Was this a first hand experience.? ;)
    Cheers!

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  4. Dude,, consider yourself in the elite class of studs who are broke(in terms of girls) but surely score a HARD 10 in terms of impishly charming writing regarding life's ironically sarcastic circumstances...

    P.S. Is dis a real life story.. do reply

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  5. Wow..
    You write wonderfully well.
    Well, I must say most of the problems in the world have just one root - Women.
    "Women" are the most dangerous 'W' out of the three W's - 'Wealth, Wine and Women'.
    Even I have gone through the same situation. I kept looking for a girl who would have an IQ close to that of boys, but I never found one.
    So I had to eventually compromise. I hooked up with a girl, who was honest and simple. I was happy for the first few days,
    but when I found she will make me feel like a loser, just because I wasn't good at dates, I felt i was also a victim of the women-nightmare.
    Believe me, some women are sexy, some are ugly, some are honest, some are dishonest.
    But all women are dumb and all women are the type you mentioned in your article.

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  6. well...i read the whole story...and iam not surprised at all...what u have said in the story was all 24 carat true...iam with u in that,in fact all boys would with u...
    and seriously CCD is more scary than any of the movie by ram gopal verma...

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  7. nyc 1 .......:) bt....i thnk u ve found da wrng gal in ur lyf buddy...

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