My experiments with social service

For the last 21 years I was too busy with self service to care for social service. But after this Anna Hazare movement I was highly inspired and also a bit surprised. Inspired, because it brought down a system and made it to kneel before the common man. Surprised because Anna Hazare turned out to be a 70 year old man and not some 20 year old chick.(Now, after this joke on Anna Hazare, I might get kicked by the Delhites and kissed by Gujarat opposition leaders.)


Anyway, I suddenly realized ,apart from my urine I hadn't given much to society. So, I decided I would spend more time ,serving the needy and the poor, work for the upliftment of slum dwellers(-the ones who go to theatres and pass comments in a language ,upper middle class women have never heard of).Well, anyhow I came across this organization where youngsters like me volunteered for social cause. Sounds good. But as it turned out, it wasn't.

On my first visit, I entered their office- a multicolored one storied building with four rooms painted in bright colors. I was disgusted. I mean what sane person, if he is not gay, paints his walls with pink and orange colors. Similar rooms were last used in early 1920s for shooting Japanese porn flicks.

 I was there to attend their first meet of the year. As I entered the concerned room I saw 20 odd nerdy looking people .The meeting started. The founder and in charge of the organization started telling us how this organization came into being, how they had done some incredible social work, how  he  had been  honored in every country that is a part of the commonwealth and every country that is not.He went on for an hour. The people in that room had started bearing expressions ,which said   "go on, we stopped listening an hour ago”. Meanwhile I thought to myself, what the fuck was I doing there ,except for the fact that there were hot chicks in there. After the meeting they had a group discussion to plan for the various events which went somewhat like this.


…………………..."hey....ouchhh..........I say.......arrey,what listen to me ..............I think our propaganda..........that plantation program.......I have seen this ultimate video about cleaning in Estonia………….Estonia  my ass you fucker……………..how dare you call me a fucker,you whore………………..I personally believe in order to arrive at something  tangible we have to get rid of this boorish attitude, stop mucking up with the issues and  end this internecine sniping within the party…………………now why is that fucker talking in French………………………………………that ain’t  French you semi literate bitch……………………blah blah blah……………………………………fu@#................m@ther#@&*@#$....................teri maa ka..@#$@##..............................................

After 20 minutes of a fierce intellectual discussion the group failed to come to a conclusion. The leader of the pack however took control of the situation and laid down his ideas of what was to be done that year. Thus begun those 40 minutes of your life where you seriously start doubting the credibility of the timing devices around. The clocks and watches just didn’t seem like moving. It was 6 ‘o’ clock. On any other day, I would be listening to how one of my friends had an MMS of a former classmate or how my friend’s girlfriend wasn’t letting him bang her. But there I was, listening to much of what made  no sense to me. I focused on his speech for five minutes and then shifted my focus to ……….well, putting it modestly, the upper torso of the female body right in front of me. After he finished his speech, I started analyzing their plans. They were going  to plant trees on both sides of some highway, ask students from nearby English medium schools to come and read in a library they had created, and play tree man-a program where one of the volunteers dressed in a  tree costume roamed around in malls talking about importance of trees. I didn’t understand. I mean, what’s the point in planting trees on roads when Govt is going to cut them all within months in the name of road expansion. What’s the point in inviting children from upper middle class families to read, while millions of children are living a wretched life with no books, no food, no future. What’s the point in making some poor guy wear weird costumes and then make him roam in malls and ruin his chances of getting laid ever. Was it honest idiocrisy (as jay leno once said god must love idiots. He created so many of them) or was it deliberate hypocrisy.

I felt for those guys. Unfortunately, the feeling was nausea. Those guys like any other half baked self certified revolutionary were desperate. Desperate to help. Not some poor fellow being  but themselves. They were desperate to add meaning to their own nonexistent faceless state of being. This is a race to prove people that we are here, that we know and that we matter. The desperation in doing social service in youth is the same desperation they have to enter some shit show on MTV and get spanked by balding twins. The motive behind both these above endeavors  is same, the urgency to sound cool. Half a million good for nothing college students joined Anna Hazare page on facebook  hoping  some random chick would take notice and they would have a chance to score.

Some of my facebook friends are still supporting the Egypt revolution. Someone has probably forgotten to tell them that the revolution is long over. Same is the case with the gooks of the-you know what - organization and other so called youth movements where the need to respond to a social cause arises from self obsession.
And before I end, this “you know what “organization had some other baffling programs. The volunteers painted on public walls some weird stuff which nobody understood; though they strongly claimed they were on social issues. Those walls are currently being used by the local public for peeing. Another program was where people from different countries told stories to 8 year olds. Imagine an Israeli chick telling stories in English with a strong accent to children who can barely understand their own mother tongue .How the fuck did they pull that off, I could never know. I didn’t last that long.

{A SHORT MESSAGE TO MY FRIENDS OF” YOU KNOW WHAT” ORGANIZATION-it’s not cool to copy the logo of Navneet textbooks and the fat chick who was sitting next to me that day was smelling really bad. She should consider taking bath. Now you can all go back to your state of being pointless. Thank you}