My Love is Gone..........(courtesy Khap)

 For those of you who think titanic was the most tragic love story ever, think again!!Because mine will make you wail(mind you wail & not cry) in pain. I am a 21 year old guy of Haryana who by pure chance managed to hook up with two hotties.But may be destiny didn't like the idea that a nerdy loser like me gets two bombs as girlfriends.So, it bombed me instead.Both of them broke up with me & this time the fault was not of my own.The reason being one of them was of my gotra,the other was not of my caste.The khaps had banned such dangerous activities for the betterment of society(this was an irony in case you didn't get the joke.)They had promised,if i married any of them,they would gift us free tickets to heaven.Apparently both the girls had planned for more earthly trips.So,they ditched me.Frustrated i went to the khap panchayat to complain.
                 'Whats' your problem?'    -asked the khaps.
   'See sir,i am a 21 year old guy deep in trouble because of you.Since the day i achieved sexual maturity i have been hitting on girls with a frequency ,which if could be scientifically quantified would run into some 1000Hz.But my failure rate was bang on 100%.Why?Because physically i am underweight by some 25kg.Which means i more or less look like  Naomi Campbell minus the face & the tits.I have around 20,000 pimples on my face &    my front tooth is broken.Academically i have been securing "D"s in most of my subjects for the last three years.In simple words i am a loser on that front too.So,no straight headed girl would ever fall for me.But in spite of all these glitches, one glorious day i managed to net not one but two hot chicks.Now because of your stupid rules i am going to lose them both.'
           'How?'-they asked,confused.
    'See, i want to marry one of them.But one is of my gotra,the second beauty belongs to another caste.And according to your rules i cant marry any of them.'
       'Well,thats true.You wont be allowed to marry any of them'-one of them answered flatly.
      'But why?'-i asked,desperate.
'Because marriage within the gotra is incestuous'-the khap replied.
     'Then marriage outside the caste is all the more justified     coz it rules out any chances of incest.'-i rebutted.
'Shut up!Don't play games with us.These rules brought us prestige & fame'.
'what fame guys.you are hated by people all over the nation'-i said
'But we are popular,nevertheless.We are more famous than ManmohanSingh.'came the reply.     
'Big deal. Every second guy in india is more famous when compared with Manmohan Singh.'-i said.
'Dont irritate us with your stupid talks.Do whatever you want to do,wherever you want to do but not here'.they said angrily.
                    But where would i go.To Rajashthan where searching for a chick is like searching for penguins in North Pole,thanks to their "no girl child ever" policy.(for those dumb asses who failed to understand the joke,penguins are not seen in north pole. they are found in south pole.Now don't ask me why,i dont know that either.).Or to Maharashtra where if Raj Thackeray somehow finds out that a non Marathi is out there trying to romance a Marathi girl, he will kick me so hard that i will land in Sri Lanka.Talking of Sri Lanka could i find love there.How could a country give me love when it could not love its own people.A country which even today, couldn't give the Tamils their respect their dignity in their own country,couldn't obviously be my destination of love.
                    Suddenly world seemed a small place with very few places which could solve my problem.Self proclaimed guardians seemed to be everywhere with their own set of rules & punishments.How many of them could i escape .
        I was no hindi film hero who would fight for his love to death.So, i bowed before the khap & let go of my love.May be it was my destiny,may be i was too weak to fight back.1068 people were killed trying to defy khap this year. I didnot want to be the 1069th one.

Okay guys as you might have guessed by now this is a fake story.There were a lot of lies in it.The biggest of them being i managed to hook up with two hotties.Common guys ,how could you buy that.May be you haven't seen my photo yet.But the issue  i was trying to address remains unfudged.This was supposed to be a democracy.But here humanity is shattered every day in the name of honor.And for God's sake don't call them honor killings.There is no honor in taking lives of innocent people for your fake dignity & politics.